I'm struggling at the end to get out of the valley of hectoring youth, journalistic middle age, imposture, moneymaking, public relations, bad writing, mental confusion. -Stephen Spender
After almost nine months of work at an english news channel, i have begun to feel the pain of the paranoia bug having bitten me.
Initially when it was between journalism and creative media, i chose creative media. Then when it was between work and post graduation, i chose the latter. Next it was between radio and journalism, i chose Journalism. Now here i am again, television journalism or radio programming? My heart says Radio- the medium, for its my first love. My head says Television journalism- my experience, for thats what i'm qualified for too... How long more should i hope for radio jounrlaism to begin in India, or should i?....Pandora's last bug- hope...making my life futile....
Half a month of night shifts without a proper off in between has been worth one mention, sleepless in Noida all just for endless thinking...of what?....my life of nine months here as a television journalist, the list was pretty depressing.
. nil personal life
. driven crazy enough to end the little romantic life i had
. cynicism about the future
. apathy about the world
. mood swings at the rate of noida power cuts
. anoerexic eating habits
. miser in the making
. confused-the permanent state of mind
Although i sound very pessimistic about life....i'm not...im still hoping...hoping that i will get to think out of my wits(!) for the best of my future... realising very well, even tomorrow counts.
